In a Fog

There is something that just depresses me about going to work when my hubby is home. We had such a relaxing morning together, watching movies and eating yummy food, but then none of that seems to matter when I have to start getting dressed for work. All of a sudden I get really upset and think that my whole day is ruined, when in reality I know that half of it was really nice.

 Maybe its just knowing that he will get to continue this perfect day without me, as I work my butt off at work. Or maybe its just the fact that I just don't want to go to work. I know, it seems little selfish, but being the wife of a teacher is hard. He works so hard during the school year, and then gets a WHOLE summer off. This summer every time I go to work I get mad, but I don't want to get mad.

 For me, its hard enough to get a couple of days off in a row (usually don't even get two in a row), so I just can't fathom the idea of having the whole summer off. Like I stated in my previous post, maybe its because I still haven't found my true calling yet. Something that I would be happy to leave the house for, something that makes me not be jelous of his vacation time. I just count down the days until my next day off, I don't enjoy my days anymore...

It seems like my life is wasting away, because I am thinking about the next day. I don't live in the presence, I count down the minutes, heck even seconds until the day is over. Tonight it a great example. I work four to midnight and then have to come back for an eight to four shift. How can someone enjoy what they do when you don't even get enough sleep to realize what day it is. I am the type that can sleep for ten hours each night and wake up feeling very rested, when I get less I am foggy and grumpy. I don't want to be that person. I want to be the person who is cheerful and full of live every day.

Well there is my rant for the day. Hope everyone else is enjoying every minute of every day for me..and don't forget to stop and enjoy the roses every once in a while